


That Would Be Enough

by lohn_jaurens



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, John Needs A Hug, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Post-Break Up, this starts out really sad but has a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 09:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7613149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lohn_jaurens/pseuds/lohn_jaurens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He missed Alexs nose, and his hands, and his eyes. He missed Alex so much sometimes it felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest over and over again. Nothing was the same without him. Nothing felt like home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Would Be Enough

The last two months have been really hard for John. He has felt like an empty shell, like he was walking through life completely numb to the outside world. He supposes he should be over it by now, but he can’t seem to shake the melancholia that has been following him. Everything would be so much easier if he could just hate Alexander Hamilton, but he knew he never could, because he was still so in love with him.

It has been two months since their breakup, and John can barely remember what he had said that caused Alex to throw him out. All he could remember was that he was drunk, and extremely stupid, and he jostled Alex for a fight. He said things that he knew would push Alexanders buttons, but he wasn’t expecting for Alex to tell him to leave and never come back. He stormed out of the apartment and crashed on Lafayettes couch. He showed up the next morning to all of his things in garbage bags, sitting in front of their apartment door.

He’s been couch surfing ever since, going through all of his friends places until he can find a place of his own – or Alex lets him come home. He knew the latter wasn’t likely to happen, Alex hasn’t talked to him in two months. Without him, things have been really hard for John. He stopped showing up to work, and received a voicemail letting him know the restaurant he had been a waiter for let him go. He was essentially homeless, with no way to make money, and basically no reason to keep going on. He missed Alex so much he could barely breathe, let alone function.

He missed the way Alexs hair felt when he ran his fingers through it. He missed the way that Alexs face would light up when he thought of an idea, and then would race around, trying to find something so that he could write his ideas down. He missed constantly having to move Alexs books from where they were scattered across the floor. He missed Alexs nose, and his hands, and his eyes. He missed Alex so much sometimes it felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest over and over again.

Nothing was the same without him. Nothing felt like home.

That was, until John found his sweatshirt. It was rolled up at the bottom of one of the bags. It was one that John had bought for him, one of those cheesy, I Heart New York hoodies that are for sale for tourists all around the city. It was their second date, which they went and saw every tourist site they possibly could all around the city. The sun was setting, and the only size they had was an XXL, which completely engulfed Alex, but when he put it on, John knew he was helpless. He had fallen for this boy so quickly. Now, he was gone.

When he found it, he burst into tears. He was on the floor of his best friend Elizas apartment, clutching the sweatshirt. It still smelled like him, like coffee, ink and old books, which only made John cry harder. That was how Eliza found him, a sobbing mess on her floor. She sat down next to him, and put his head in her lap, running her fingers through his hair, trying to calm him down.

It was a couple of days after that incident, and John was wearing the sweatshirt to go and get coffee. He hasn’t been sleeping very much lately, all his dreams are plagued with Alex. Eliza told him that he needed to get out of the apartment, get some fresh air. Apparently binge watching TV shows on Netflix wasn’t very healthy. When he walked into the coffee shop, he wasn’t paying attention to what was in front of him, an promptly ran into someone, spilling their drink all over John.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry I didn’t ev- John?” No, it couldn’t be. John looked up and was face to face with big brown eyes he never thought he’d see again. Alex had deep bags under his eyes, with greasy hair pulled out of his face, but he looked more beautiful than John remembered. He realized he hadn’t said anything when Alex started to talk again.

“Is that – is that my sweatshirt?” John looked down at was he was wearing, and realized it was basically ruined. There was a huge coffee stain all down the front, and now john would have to wash it, and it wouldn’t smell like Alex anymore, and he would lose that last thing that meant anything to him. He didn’t mean to start crying, but once the tears started they didn’t stop. Soon Alex was leading him to a booth in the back of the coffee shop, so they weren’t in the way of anyone anymore.

“John?”

“Yes, it’s your sweatshirt. You can have it back though because now it’s ruined. I wore it because it smelled like you, and it’s the only thing that has felt like home since I moved out. I’m sorry Alex, I’m so sorry. I never should have said those things to you. There’s no excuse for that, other than I’m a huge dick. So here, just take it and you’ll never have to see me again.” John went to take the sweatshirt off, but was stopped when Alex grabbed his hand.

“How about you wait, and give it to me when you come home tonight.” John swore his heart stopped beating. This had to be some kind of joke right?

“What?”

“Please come home baby. I’ve missed you more than you will ever realize, and nothing is the same without you there. I forgive you, I just want you home.” John moved to the other side of the booth so he could fling himself into Alexs arms. He was crying again, but these tears were different.

Things weren’t going to be the same right off the bat, but they were both willing to wait for it.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think! <3


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